"Calm My Anxious Heart"

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:7

Tonight, as I sit on my floor folding clothes to pack for Haiti with no noise other than the soothing sounds of the rain, I couldn't help but have a "girly moment". I started thinking and reflecting back on this week. I learned of another childhood friend who just found out she is having a baby, caught up on blogs and pictures of my sweet friend and her beautiful baby girl, had dinner with my bestie and her husband, and viewed another friends engagement pictures. Hey, life! Can you believe I am old enough for all of this to be happening? It still blows my mind and takes me a minute to digest each time I think about it.

Tonight, I couldn't help but think how different this silent room would be if I were not in the position I am now. Would I still be preparing for  Haiti? Would He be preparing to go with me? Would we be laughing about all the things I am trying to fit into this small suitcase? Or would we be in separate rooms, not even paying attention to one another? That thought scared me. I  immediately started praying for my prince. Praying that my heart stays calm, not anxious, as God prepares us for one another. Thanking God for this season of singleness.

I know Satan put those thoughts in my head as a way to try to distract me from my true focus. Haiti. He knows how excited I am about this experience- ministering, loving, paying, packing, traveling. Everything. God has me exactly where I need to be for a reason. It's true I can't wait for the day to know who I'm spending the rest of my life with, to see what ring takes the place of this TLW ring,  and to see who the father of my children will be, but for now, I have accepted God's sovereign control over this situation and am content.

"I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of, for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking."